Garden addition

May. 25th, 2017 06:21 pm
nanila: nellie kim is awesome (purple nellie)
[personal profile] nanila
Back story: The garden behind our house is a very peculiar shape. It is quite wide at the back of the house for about 10 metres, then narrows abruptly to a very skinny path alongside the canal towpath hedge. It goes along like this for about 5 metres and then ends in a round, fenced-in patch about 4 metres in diameter. The round patch has a concrete pavement in a pretty circular pattern.

We’ve been trying to work out what to do with this odd space since we moved in. It’s a fair way from the house and not visible from the back door. Jacuzzi? Too much maintenance, plus it’s too far to trek on a horrible winter night. Bike shed? Functional but boring, and also bike sheds are ugly. This is a pretty space, ringed by climbing roses and vines.

A few weeks ago we went to the garden centre and found a display of cute playhouses with trimmed roofs and windows, and an interior upper floor reached by a child-sized ladder. The 6’x6’ models were on sale. As we had to carry the children away from them, literally, we thought, perhaps this is the optimal use for that round patch.

Thus far, we have been proved entirely correct, and the expense has been justified. Since it’s been installed, both children come home from nursery, dash through the house and out the back door into the playhouse to draw, play on the tablet or just run up and down the steps and in and out the doors. (There’s an adorable toddler-sized door out the side in addition to the larger front door.) The only things that brings them back to the house in 15-20 minutes are the requests for drinks and fruity snacks, which are then carried back up to the playhouse.

tl;dr version We got the kids a playhouse for the garden. Photos below!

20170523_184119
[Keiki on a wooden chair outside the playhouse. “Oi* shut da door on moi sister!”]

+3 )

* The Black Country is strong with this one.
** There is a whole separate post brewing about how I simply do not understand Danger Mouse.

I am up to my ears in marking...

May. 25th, 2017 03:30 pm
nanila: wrong side of the mirror (me: wrong side of the mirror)
[personal profile] nanila
...so here, have a photo from yesterday evening instead of hearing me moan about that.

IMG_5yqare
[Humuhumu and Keiki in their swimming costume & swim nappy respectively, eating ice creams in the paddling pool.]

Moving from Imzy!

May. 25th, 2017 10:12 am
wolfpurplemoon: a woman with long red hair wearing glasses and a deadpool t-shirt (Default)
[personal profile] wolfpurplemoon posting in [community profile] bujo
Hey everyone - I was a member of the couple of bullet journal communities that were on Imzy but now that is sadly shutting down I'm moving to Dreamwidth and as the communities there inspired me to keep up with my bullet journal, I hope the same will be true of here :)

Below the cut are my posts from the Imzy community.

Read more... )

what we are about

May. 24th, 2017 10:17 pm
graydon2: (Default)
[personal profile] graydon2

In any case, we are using it [price control], and those who doubt that it is necessary or wise should remember that in the incommensurable task of governing this Republic, we often do in practice what we only later find to be justified in principle. [...] Even though we do not like what we are doing, we should understand what we are about.

--John Kenneth Galbraith, A Theory Of Price Control

Coming to WisCon - probably.

May. 23rd, 2017 06:47 pm
commodorified: very worried stuffed crocodile clutching a pillow (not coping)
[personal profile] commodorified posting in [community profile] wiscon
Some of you might remember me, and a few of you might remember that I've had severe allergy problems three times now with Madison in the spring, so, unusually for me, here is a 'care and feeding' post letting people as are interested know what I will and won't be up to this weekend.

I am trepidacious, and also excited.

Seeking Roomshare

May. 23rd, 2017 10:50 am
amyshy: (Default)
[personal profile] amyshy posting in [community profile] wiscon
Edited to add: Room Acquired! Woo! See you at WisCon!

Hello!

I'm trying to pull together a spur of the moment trip to WicCon and I'm hoping to find someone looking for a roommate. This will be my first WisCon and I'm hoping for a last minute miracle. Did someone if your group have to drop out unexpectedly? Or do you know someone who needs a roommate? I can happily fill the slot!

I'm a 41 y/o cis queer woman (she/hers) non-smoker, courteous and quiet. New to WisCon but not new to cons in general (I've attended WindyCon and Capricon regularly for the last few years) Hoping to experience my first WisCon this year! Can you help me out? Shoot me an email at amyshy at gmail dot com.

Thanks in advance!

Newly local characters

May. 22nd, 2017 03:13 pm
azurelunatic: The (old) Tacoma Narrows Bridge, intact but twisted. (Tacoma)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
Once I move at the beginning of June, there will be a new local set of people.


Me: y'all know me. Lunatic, infovore. Gender: no thank you. Pronoun set: plural-they.

Partner: a witty, kind geekfolk, fascinated by books and shows and links and sports and hardware and eking every last ounce of usefulness out of old gear. I have known them for about 10 years at this point. Infovore. Gender: has a lot of oppressive constructs which should be BURNED THE FUCK DOWN while not endangering the vulnerable folks who depend on some of its supportive ones. Pronoun set: anonymous-they.

Metamour: has been seeing my partner since February-ish. Met them over a game of CAH; knew they had to be friends when they had pretty much the same answer. Witty, beautiful. Likes baking. Gender: woman. Pronoun set: she/her.

Tay-Tay: my younger (biological) sister, and soon to be my roommate. I say she is my "baby" sister but she's actually a year older than my partner. Violinist and general ball of energy. Short and tiny; I can kind of lift her in one arm so she can be on eye level with my partner. Gender: probably woman-ish and she likes kicking over gender norms and dancing on top. Pronoun set: she/her.

The Kitten: a small, loud, grey indoor lap cat who loves my partner and will punch people who try to pet her without her permission. Previous owners declawed her. She is food-insecure, and cannot be left to free-feed. She's antisocial to other cats. She does not like Master Jerkface very much at all. She is most often found perched on the back of my partner's desk chair and getting hair on their jacket, on my partner's lap with her tail in their face demanding to be petted, or on top of them when they're asleep.

Master Jerkface (and other equally unflattering nicknames): the abusive ex of my beloved partner. I hope to not meet them. Gender: they have one. Pronoun set: as used here, anonymous-they.

The Man-Child: Tay's boyfriend, who I didn't hear about in the context of a Relationship until September 2016, literally as I was coming back from the Oakland radiation oncology department. Musician, outdoorsy hiker type. A few decades too old for man-childishness to be excused. Gender: man, probably. Pronoun set: he/him.


Team Partner: a bunch of people who came together to help my partner in their hour of need. They include:

an old internet friend of mine who reads the Vorkosigan books
their wife
a friend of theirs

The first hosts: one of my partner's former co-workers who went into tech and her husband

The second hosts: another co-worker-ish person and her husband


Assorted now-local friends of mine include:

Mr. Zune: a former co-worker from Virtual Hammer who is now at the SEA-TAC outpost as his career was portable
Mr. Zune's Girlfriend: got a dream job in the Seattle area

[livejournal.com profile] tygerr: an old friend and Listee
[livejournal.com profile] tygerr's wife: an excellent and fun geek lady

Carnelian: a friend of mine from the late 90s; we had various different paths in life but now we're talking again and comparing notes.
Terezi: Carnelian's daughter, who infamously needed two stacked baby gates to keep her contained as a toddler. Now a proud teenage tumblr bb. (I haven't seen her in Many Years, but I'm likely to run into her more often now.)

Various #dw, #dw_kvetch, and #lj_s folk!!!

Low-bandwidth reading page

May. 21st, 2017 09:59 am
jesse_the_k: Hands open print book with right side hollowed out to hole iPod (Alt format reader)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k
I read from this link

http://www.dreamwidth.org/mobile/read

Which has no graphics at all, and when you click through you're automatically in style=light

(And if a post doesn't have a title, then this displays the initial words of the body.)

Goodbye, Virtual Hammer.

May. 20th, 2017 05:38 pm
azurelunatic: Blue-iced cupcake with sprinkles.  (cupcake)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
Friday was more boxes. Putting olives and pineapple and a few other things in a sturdy box half-filled it, but it was already heavy enough. I made up the rest of the space with dry noodle soup cups: not easily crushed, but hella light.

It was beer bash day at Virtual Hammer, and my last one. My former manager's last day had been the week before (onward and upward). I was skeptical of the food choices, as the theme was "pizza party", and I was aware of what the "catering pizza" was like.

By 2pm, when the maintenance guy hadn't shown up for the pre-departure inspection, I called the office. I didn't want to miss beer bash. He came through at 2:45. No major issues, and maybe X place would be good for the moving pod, but it was a hard problem. (In this case, "major issues" is holes in walls, destroyed appliances, etc. I am sure there will be "minor issues".)

I headed for beer bash, slightly melancholy. (My partner urged me to try for not too much sadness.) I chatted with Nora, of course. I walked briskly up the path, but paused at the duck pond to take a few last pictures.

The duck pond at Virtual Hammer, glowing in the sunlight (with a certain amount of algae bloom).

Purple called just about then, as he was about a hundred meters behind me and wanted to catch up. He had a new-ish teammate with him, someone of a delightfully compatible sense of humor.

We grabbed some pizza (fortunately, there was sufficient pepperoni pizza, as the veggie pizza was laced with bell pepper), and contemplated the desserts.

1) Streusel pizza, an uninspiring-looking cinnamon-sugar crumb on something flat and pale.
2) Brownie pizza, with toasted mini marshmallows and peanut butter cups.
3) Popcorn with some red coating on it; this would prove to be mostly spicy.
4) Cookie pizza, chocolate chip with frosting, coconut shreds, and walnuts on top.

#1 looked like a waste of carbohydrate. #3 looked like not-dessert (and upon tasting, was indeed not-dessert).
I texted my partner with the descriptions of #2 and #4, and got back some incredulous punctuation. I loathe peanut butter, and have an oral hypersensitivity reaction to walnuts. (It burns and the lining of my mouth peels off. It's great.) My partner has complementary reactions: oral hypersensitivity to peanuts, and loathes walnuts.

Purple and his teammate and I had a lovely time in one of the tucked-away back tables. There was a lovely view out the windows. We talked about squirrels (Purple's noticed that modern squirrels know how to freeze and duck for cars), bees (Purple's childhood home had a prodigious amount of comb removed from a wall), the nature of "Netflix and Chill", and other such things.

Eventually, Ms. Antisocialest Butterfly called, and we figured out dinner. I spotted the cute receptionist across the upper quad, and said goodbye. We wandered back down to the lower quad, and Purple wrapped up. I dropped some spare buttons from the 2015 department conference, because I didn't really need that many as keepsakes, and someone at work might think they were cool.

We headed off for dinner. Goodbye, campus in the hills. You were beautiful, and I met so many lovely people there. Perhaps I'll visit again someday.

Ms. Antisocialest Butterfly had been delayed in leaving for dinner, because as she was heading out, there was a machine overheating, so she'd had to spray the fans with compressed air and such. I was careful to avoid "blowing" jokes at first. The restaurant had the air conditioning cranked up high, which had likely been appropriate in the heat of the day, but was less and less appropriate as the air cooled. I put on my jacket. Purple ran out to his car to grab his button-down shirt.

The on-table tablet thing behaved itself this time, by which I mean Ms. Antisocialest Butterfly was able to look at the drinks menu and pick out something, and then we were able to aim it away from us without it blinking. I got a sip of Purple's drink, which was just about the right amount. (Two would have been an okay amount too, but it was a little sour for me.)

Ms. Antisocialest Butterfly has picked up a new online game, where she is now known as "Finger." Most of the obvious jokes were less made than they were implied. She observed that it's very important to not (as someone had) leave the punctuation out of the greeting "Finger, my friend!" What happened was that she'd joined the game and picked a nickname; some dick had immediately taken offense to her basic existence. She'd argued that this was the internet, perhaps she didn't exist at all! Perhaps she was just a disembodied finger, typing. And thus her new name.

Purple walked me to my car. We chatted about this and that, and the move. I'll be fine. I tend to pre-react, rather than post-react. (Purple post-reacts.) My partner and I have good communications. I'll be sad to leave California, but not heartbroken like I was about leaving Darkside.

We set the date and time for our last dinner: Tuesday night, in the hole-in-the-wall Mediterranean place where they treat us like family. I'll want to say goodbye there, too.

The language of apology

May. 20th, 2017 04:10 pm
azurelunatic: A baji-naji symbol.  (baji-naji)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I started contemplating the components that make up an effective apology to me. There are the "five apology languages", which are siblings of the "five love languages", or something. That's interesting, but it isn't quite what I'm looking for.

What am I looking for?

a) Acknowledgment of the effect, and regret. (Regret is one of the apology languages.) Something happened and I was hurt; in an intimate and trustworthy relationship, I want them to know how I was hurt, and why it was hurtful. (Late to an event, hurt feelings, stubbed toe, irritated, etc.) Since they need to care for my well-being, I feel that it's appropriate that they regret my well-being was affected.
(In an untrustworthy relationship, giving them more information on how they have hurt me just gives them ammunition to hurt me further. If you find in your life that there are people where you don't want to let them know that you are hurt or how, contemplate your options for reducing those people's access to you.)

b) Root-cause analysis. What are the factors that led to this happening? Some are the responsibility of the person. (Accepting responsibility is one of the apology languages.) Sometimes there are factors that are nobody's responsibility, or are the responsibility of entities who are in no position to have things changed as a result of the incident. (A terrible day at the DMV is not likely to be solved by anyone saying "Hey, this was terrible.")

c) Making restitution, if appropriate. (Making restitution is one of the apology languages.) A date can often be rescheduled. Doing something nice and out of the ordinary is a mood-lifter. Fixing or replacing the broken thing. Sometimes there isn't really anything that can be done to make it better, and that probably should be acknowledged.

d) Failure prevention. (In the listed apology languages, "genuinely repenting" seems to fit this the closest.) With root-cause analysis and knowledge of the effects, we can use those to plan to avoid circumstances where this comes up again, and make a plan for mitigating the effects if it does come up again.


In my present primary relationship, my partner always genuinely regrets the hurt. They don't always understand why it was hurtful, so that portion often involves a lot of discussion. (And I can contribute to things going better by being more flexible in when and how that discussion happens.) The root cause often involves things that have grown out of traumatic experiences and situations in our past, which is ... fun. Restitution hasn't been a huge factor.

Root cause analysis and failure prevention tend to slide together, even though I have them listed as separate steps. It's at the failure prevention step where, like magic, I start calming down and feeling incredibly secure and loved. Since some of the factors involve trauma, the failure prevention often involves the slow process of healing (with and without the assistance of professionals), and my understanding and forgiveness of those things.

We're learning how to fight well and safely, and I love them so much.

WisCon Contact Post

May. 20th, 2017 01:40 pm
jesse_the_k: black border collie standing in hug licking my chin (JK loved by BELL)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k
Hello there! Anything you write in a reply to this magic post will only be visible to you and me.

I'll be panelling 9:45 to 11:30 on Saturday, otherwise my schedule is open.

Let's make a plan!

If you want to contact me during the con, you can also direct-message me on Twitter [twitter.com profile] jesse_the_k

I look quite a lot like my icon, but tragically no Bella at the hotel.

See you there!

Room-share?

May. 20th, 2017 10:43 am
brownbetty: (Default)
[personal profile] brownbetty posting in [community profile] wiscon
I know this is a last-minute shot in the dark, but I'm looking for a room-share. I'm a female introvert whose hobbies are reading and knitting, and fandoms are Yuuri on Ice!!! and SF. I'm willing to pay 1/people in room of cost if you have a place for me.
resolute: (Default)
[personal profile] resolute posting in [community profile] wiscon
It's SF/F convention season again, and once more we are all presented with the conundrum --

Do I hug this person hello and goodbye, or not?

Social hugging! It's a thing! Yet, it is MOST DEFINITELY NOT A THING for a lot of people.

Here is how I, personally, navigate these situations. While this may not work perfectly for you, feel free to modify it for your own use.

If I want to hug a person hello or goodbye, I say to them, "Do we hug?" (Or, "do we hug hello?" etc.)

If they say "Yes, we hug!" then we do, indeed, hug.

If they say *anything else*, I back off and we do not hug.

If someone says to me, "do we hug?" and I *want* to, I say "yes, we hug!" and there is a hug.

If I do not want to hug this person at this moment, I say one of the following things, or something similar:

I don't recall us hugging
I'm not much of a hugger
I don't think we hug
Now's not a great time
Not that I know of

If the other person does not understand the soft no and moves in, I take a step back and say:

No thank you
Now now
I meant no

If my hug offer is rejected, I move into the next part of the conversation "It's great to see you! How have you been?" or "I'm so glad we talked, when's your next panel?" or something similar. If I have just rejected someone else's hug offer, same script. No apologies, no talking about feelings or misunderstandings, just move into the next phase of the social interaction.

I, personally, do not enjoy finding out later that I have made someone uncomfortable with my actions. I prefer clear communication BEFORE social hugging to try to avoid awkwardness afterwards. YMMV!
nanila: little and wicked (mizuno: lil naughty)
[personal profile] nanila
Our corridor was refurbished several months ago, and new door labels were applied. The admin staff have since added names and roles (e.g. “Lecturer”, “Research Associate”) to about 70% of the doors.

My officemate and I grew tired of waiting for ours to appear and have thus created our own.
Door_sign_2017-05-18_1600
[Blue and white door label reading “Mr [Redacted] & Dr [Redacted]: Purveyors of splendid magnetometer data”]

We’re trying to decide how long it will be before anyone notices.

Poll #18391 Purveyors of splendid magnetometer data
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 79


Someone will notice our door label

View Answers

in a few days
7 (8.9%)

in a few weeks
3 (3.8%)

in a few months
3 (3.8%)

if/when you ever move office & it has to be replaced
25 (31.6%)

straightaway, but no one will say anything - see “You work in the Physics Department”
41 (51.9%)

Moving!

May. 18th, 2017 07:43 pm
azurelunatic: The (old) Tacoma Narrows Bridge, intact but twisted. (Tacoma)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
So as I alluded to in passing, I'm moving.

My departure from the Bay Area is May 31st.

The moving pod(s) will be with me from sometime May 26 through sometime May 31st.

I am driving to Tacoma with some of the stuff that's too delicate or otherwise unsuitable to be trusted to a pod. (Alcohol in the trunk. My computer. Stuff I'll need to survive for a week or so without things from the pod. The ancestral tea set from Dad's mom's side of the family, eventually destined for Ev. The box with the paper volumes of my journal.) The drive often takes two days; it's possible that I may accomplish it in one go, though I haven't yet driven it. (I did the Phoenix/SF drive in two days the first time, and one day on the two subsequent trips.)

The plan for Tacoma is:
* some sort of long-term pre-payable hotel for the first ~month, keeping in mind that I'll be off at Open Source Bridge for part of that, too
* two specific call centers to apply to
* look for a ~year lease
* look for a better job

Oh yes, and: see my partner and metamour on a regular basis.

This is earlier than I thought I'd be going, but it was suddenly time.

My world is boxes. Company would be welcome but is not necessary, and the number of sitting surfaces in here is drastically lower than usual.
altamira16: Tall ship at dusk (Default)
[personal profile] altamira16
I have a friend who likes to read the stories of dissidents, and I have the sense that she reads them over and over again.

Over a year ago, she noticed that Vladimir Bukovsky, one of her favorite dissidents, was in trouble with the law, but most of the stories about his situation were in Russian. She started talking to some people who were his friends or who loved his book as much as she did to figure out what was going on. Bukovsky was on hunger strike because he had been charged with having a large amount of child pornography on his computer. A lot of his supporters were convinced that the data had been planted on his computer by the Russian government. Over a year ago, this sounded a little conspiratorial. Since Bukovsky had written about his opposition to communism, some of the right-wing blogs were the first to pick up the story about what was going on. Anyway, his friends and supporters helped get a new electronic copy of his book released.

I was dreading reading this book because it is about being a political prisoner in Russia, and I thought that it would be really depressing. I was so happy when this book was completely different than what I expected.

This book is about how Bukovsky took control of his life as a prisoner to maintain his sanity. Early on, he is asking a guard if he needs to take his belonging with him when they leave the cell. Whether he needs his things or not will give him a clue about how far he is being taken. At some point, it seems like all the prisoners are thrown into psychiatric hospitals and diagnosed with "sluggish schizophrenia" if they do not have a real diagnosis. I expected the writing style to be convoluted, but it is pretty straight-forward and clear.

One of the overarching themes of this book and the one by Suki Kim that I read earlier this year is how inefficiently labor is distributed in these types of regimes. A lot of construction labor is distributed to prisoners in this book. In Kim's book, reasonably well-off university students in North Korea are sent off to work at construction sites over the summer. There is no incentive for anyone to make labor more efficient in systems where anyone can be a laborer, and no one is getting remunerated in a meaningful way for their services. When there is unpaid labor in a system, no one worries about making it more efficient or improving labor conditions.

On a much more cheerful note

May. 18th, 2017 10:39 am
nanila: wrong side of the mirror (me: wrong side of the mirror)
[personal profile] nanila
Here is Keiki with our first radish harvest from our garden:
IMG_ndairl
He ate all of his. Humuhumu found them too peppery.

Here are Keiki and Humuhumu eating ice creams. Humuhumu is dressed as a pirate princess (outfit concept all hers). Keiki is dressed in one of the two shirts that don't cause him to start screaming as soon as you put it on him, holey black trousers and a single croc.
IMG_ji34i1

And here is Telstar defeating a stick whilst lounging in the porch of the tent in our garden.
20170507_105420

On immigration and empathy

May. 18th, 2017 09:00 am
nanila: Your plastic pal who's fun to be with (star wars: k-2so)
[personal profile] nanila
I’ve been seeing a lot of Twitter posts and the like from EU nationals who have been struggling with the horrors of navigating the UK immigration system, trying to obtain their permanent residence permits after decades of enjoying (largely) restriction-free stay in this country.

I am sympathetic to their stress and the torment of waiting for months without a passport for a response that may or may not bring relief. But there is another, less magnanimous, part of me that is thinking, “Welcome to the world the rest of us immigrants have been experiencing for years.” The stack of paper I submitted to the UK Border Agency from 2004 to 2013 probably fills an entire filing cabinet drawer, not to mention the ~£6000 they received from me for the pleasure of applying for visas, visa renewals, permanent residency, and naturalisation. Yes, those latter two are separate and have gigantic fees attached. Did you know you have to wait a year after submitting your permanent residency application before you can again have the pleasure of submitting your naturalisation application, which isn’t any shorter and is also even more expensive? Doesn’t that sound like fun?

I suggest*, therefore, the UKBA replace all of this absurd bureaucracy with some simple, realistic questions and a thirty-minute interview with a border agent. And so I give you:

Immigration Tests, The Microlit Version

Refugee/asylum seeker: "Have you suffered enough for us to let you in?"
Entrepreneur/investor: “Are you rich enough for us to let you in?”
Highly-skilled worker: "Has someone else paid for your education so that we can reap the benefits?"
Low-skilled worker: “Sorry, no.”
Spouse: "Can you and/or your partner afford to pay for your love to exist?"
Aged family member of immigrant: “Can you or your children afford to support you? Actually, even if you/they can, the answer’s still no.

* with a heavy dose of sarcasm

Actually Luzula Did It

May. 17th, 2017 10:26 am
jesse_the_k: ACD Lucy holds two blue racketballs in her mouth, side by side; captioned "I did it!" (LUCY absurd success surprise)
[personal profile] jesse_the_k
If you're any kind of dog person, check out [personal profile] luzula's fabulous photos of a recent dog sled adventure:

http://luzula.dreamwidth.org/261243.html

A boat ride down the Danube.

May. 17th, 2017 01:25 pm
nanila: wrong side of the mirror (me: wrong side of the mirror)
[personal profile] nanila
Our day of brilliant weather in Vienna happened on the Tuesday, which was nice as it was the one day that the bloke had off from the conference. We took advantage of it to go on a boat ride down the Danube. Granny, Humuhumu and I had done this together a couple of years before, but the others had never been before. Keiki loved it. He sat upright and alert on my lap for two straight hours, watching and commenting on everything and occasionally bursting into song.

Most of these photos were either taken by the bloke or Humuhumu.

[I had meant to add more commentary but this entry has been sitting half-finished in my documents for weeks so I figured it was best to just post it before it got any more out of date.]

IMG_0543
[Me smiling at the camera, with Keiki on my lap, riding at the front of the boat down the Danube. Photo taken by the bloke.]

+11 )

On disembarking from the boat, we discovered that one of the city’s fountains had been turned on in honour of the nice weather.

IMG_0638
[Humuhumu in her green Kenyan dress, shrieking as she runs through the fountain.]

+2 )

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